No Way, Jose!
by bethyboomarch2
Summary: Alice takes Bella on yet another shopping trip in Port Angeles while Edward is hunting. Bella gets very frusterated and decides to get everyone on her side and surprise Alice with an extreme-makeover of her own. Somewhat OOC but I like. Please R&R!
1. Kidnapped

Hello

Hello! So I just published my first fanfiction – Spiffiness – yesterday and am so very excited to publish another so very soon. Pretty please flatter me and review, or I guess that you could not and make me cry…thanks for checking out the story

"Pssst!" Bella turned around to look at the other side of the lunchroom, "Psssssssstttt!!" she heard the noise again.

"What in the-" she was tackled by a very tiny pale girl and dragged into the bathroom. She didn't know for sure what Alice was doing but one thing was for sure: Everyone was staring at them on their way out. "Alice what was that all about?!" Bella whisper-shouted.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just kidnapping you for a grand day of shopping in Port Angeles! Why you don't look happy?" Alice whined.

"I'm not. I have three tests today that I studied long and hard for and was hoping to get them over with!" The two girls were now walking out towards Alice's yellow Porsche. "I mean really Alice, we just went shopping yesterday! Can you not control yourself. At least until Edward gets back from hunting tomorrow."

"No way, Jose! That is exactly why we're going now, to avoid Edward and have you all to myself in the wonderful, huge, expensive shopping mall where everyone knows me." Alice grinned evilly. Bella was practically shoved into the car and they drove off not three seconds later.

"Alice, this is low," Bella glared at her, "even for you! You know that Edward wants me to be happy and this is most definitely not making me happy!!" Alice rolled her eyes and slowed down as a cop car went by.

"Uh-oh." Alice said, sounding defeated, "it's Charlie." Bella waved frantically before she was pushed rather violently into the backseat. Alice half-ducked down and covered her face with the scarf she was wearing. Charlie passed them right by not even noticing with the donut he was eating. "Phew, that was very close. Almost too close."

"Ugh! Charlie, how could you not have seen her speeding from all the way back there?! He's always checking up on Edward! But no, he wouldn't check up on the one person in his family capable of kidnapping me." Bella continued to grumble as Alice laughed to herself.

--

_Poke, poke._ Bella opened her eyes, wincing at the glaring sun,and groaned, "Alice, I'm awake. You can stop poking me now or you'll leave a bruise."

"Sorry but you wouldn't wake up when I just said your name. Then you started talking about Edward and I decided something had to be done."

"Fine I'm up, now where are we going to exactly?"

"Well, I thought I might be nice and get you something for lunch first as I thought maybe I didn't kidnap you in the kindest way possible. So we're at the Italian restaurant that Edward brought you to." Her eyes lit up with hope and pride that Bella couldn't resist but make her happy.

"Okay, I guess that will redeem you a bit. But you need to be easy on me and I'm buying everything when we get to the mall." Alice shook her head and pulled into a parking space.

When they got out of the car, two teenage boys were staring at Alice's car. "Whoa." They spoke in unison as they gazed at the Porsche. "How much did this cost you?" one said.

"Nothing" Alice said as she locked the car with a beep and sauntered into the restaurant.

"That was a bit strange." Bella said to Alice as they opened the door and walked in.

"Actually, lots of people love Porsche's and I've been asked that question more than once before." They stepped up to the stand where the hostess was waiting to send them to a table.

"Hello, how many?" she spoke without looking up from the table list.

"Two," Alice spoke up.

The girl looked behind her and told the waitress, "table twenty-seven."

When she finally looked up, Bella whimpered and Alice gave her a questioning look. "Oh. It's _you._" The hostess said with a sneer, "What, did your boyfriend dump you? You can always give him _my_ number." She smirked.

"Sorry but he's just a bit busy at the moment so my friend and I are having some girl time, thank you very much!" Bella remained as poised and polite as possible.

"Right this way," the waitress looked at them expectantly. They walked into the dining room and the waitress picked up some menus on the way. Once they were seated and had their menus Alice spoke up.

"So, what was that all about?"

"That girl was the waitress when Edward and I came and she kept flirting with him the whole entire meal. It was horrible and she pretty much threw my food at me." Alice giggled and recited Bella's order to her after she had a vision. When they got the check and Alice had grabbed the check with her super-fast abilities, they left without giving one look to the rude hostess.

"All, right," Alice squealed, "SHOPPING TIME!!" Bella groaned again as she was pulled forcefully into the Porsche.

Sooooo, what did you think? Pretty please review and I will give you an imaginary hug!! I really love my one and only reviewer of Spiffiness, who I can't even thank because they were anonymous. Love from me!!


	2. Why?

Hello, I am so very happy that I got a review

Hello, I am so very happy that I got a review!! My very first one that wasn't anonymous too!! Eeeeeek! Anyways, here's chapter two. I will be trying to update two or three times a week but it gets difficult. I've got a very busy schedule. Loads of love and enjoy the story!

"Oh, Lord above!! Oh, fate and Oprah and all that is good on this green Earth, WHY!!" Bella grasped for the wall, still being pulled into the strip mall quite unwillingly.

Alice gave her one last yank and dragged her into the doors, "Bella, you are being _such_ a drama queen! Suck it up, you _are_ gonna play Barbie and you _are_ gonna like it!!"

Bella made a very mean face at her and miserably walked alongside her devious friend.

"Ok, so where should we start today dear sister? Maybe Gap, Aero, Juicy Couture, Venerable Browns, David and Goliath, or Octopus? Well, those are all in the South-West wing so we can hit them and then head out to some other stores afterwards!"

Bella stared at Alice's innocent, child-like face and wondered how so very much evil could exist in such a very small body. "Those are the stores in one wing of the mall?! How many wings are there exactly??"

"Eight," Alice jumped into the air and then latched herself onto Bella's arm, pulling her towards one-eighth of the mall, "This is going to be sooooo excellent!!" Bella groaned. "Oooh! Let's go into Juicy Couture first! Last time I was here I got a pair of Mary Janes, some kitten heels, a couple dozen dresses, some pants, shorts, skirts, adorable t-shirts, the most amazing jewelry, and there are the best purses and handbags here!!" Bella paled with every word Alice spoke.

"Uh, h-how long are we going to be here?"

"Well, they're going on a two-day 'camping' trip so I thought that we could stay here overnight at a nearby hostel and then leave extra early tomorrow night to get home without Edward's temper flaring at me…the boy gets very emotional without you. Scary!" Alice shuddered.

"Oh, again I ask, WHY!! This is the most painful experience of my life!"

"That's the attitude Bella!" she spoke with a smile, "So, what should we hit first? I think dresses, what about you?" Bella mumbled something as she was hauled over to the dress racks. "What was that?" Alice questioned.

"Oh, nothing. Absolutely nothing Alice…"

--

After a very long 19 ½ hour day shopping with Alice, Bella collapsed on the bed. They'd gone to more than half of the stores in the 300 store mall and Alice had even forced her into the bathing suit store, the lingerie store, and all of the posh super-expensive stores that Bella could afford nothing at. Alice must have stolen her purse at some point during the day though because Bella couldn't find it anywhere and Alice insisted on paying for everything.

"Bella? Hey Bella, are you asleep? I could really use your help if you'd like to open up the door for me. The bags are kinda heavy and I'd like to have you try everything on again before you do get to sleep." Bella scoffed at that and decided to let her stay out there all night so she could sleep and not continue in the Barbie process. "You know, I can break the door down if I have to, it would just be more messy than if you were to get up and open the door. So you'd better come! I'm counting to three. One…two…and a half… You should really just open it Bella, you're going to anyways, in case you have forgotten, I know what's going on."

Bella sat up and yawned, "Fine Alice, I will get up now. But before I open the door, you need to promise me that you'll let me sleep and I can just wake up tomorrow for more games."

"Well…"

"You know, Edward wouldn't be very happy if you made me tired and brought me home with purple bags under my eyes, uncontrollable yawning, and extreme exhaustion."

She could hear Alice sigh from the other side of the door, "Fine, I will wait until morning but, please, just let me in!"

"Deal!!" Bella opened the door and saw Alice standing there with at the least forty bags, "Good golly Alice! How do you expect to get that all home?"

"Oh, don't worry. Express mail is one of the greatest inventions ever made," She winked at Bella as she set all of the bags on her bed, "I'm just heading out to the post office while you're asleep, if that's ok?"

"Yeah, sure." Bella mumbled, already half-asleep, "G'night…" she began to breathe slower and Alice giggled, heading out the door with half of the bags.

"Silly, Bella."

--

"Finally! We're done," Bella rose her hands in victory as they stepped outside, "We are done, aren't we?" They'd been shopping for another twenty hours or so until Alice had declared that they'd hit every important store in the entire mall. One more trip to the post-office later and they packed up their suitcases at the hostel and were headed towards the Porsche.

"Yes, Bella. We're done now, we're going to go home and you will get to see your Edward in, oh, an hour and fifteen minutes."

"Oh, thank goodness!"

"You know Bella, you really look great in all of your new clothes. I think Edward will really enjoy everything we've got too." She said suggestively.

"Oh, Alice. Why, that's all I want to know, why?" Bella drifted off for the first time in twenty-four hours, and Alice let her sleep as she was content with the clothes she was allowed to get Bella.

--

"Bella. Wakey, wakey…oh for – Bella! Edward's almost here!" Alice shouted in the driveway of their mansion.

"What, huh?" Bella sat up rubbing her eyes and straightening her clothes, "Did you say Edward's almost here?"

"Yes, he'll be here in about two minutes. In the meantime, could you please open the door for me?" Bella got up and opened the door just as Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle came into sight. Edward immediately came to Bella's side and put his arms around her.

"What happened while I was away, love? And what in the world are all of those bags-" Edward gasped as realization hit. "She didn't!"

"Oh, she did." Bella nodded solemnly. All of a sudden her mouth turned into a grin, "I think I know how we can get her back though." She whispered to her family.

So…what'd ya think? Pretty please review. I love reviews in case you couldn't tell. Oh, that reminds me, one ginormous thank-you to vikkitori22 for my first review! I guess that's it. Now it's up to all of you, should I continue?


	3. The Plan's in Motion

So, third chapter already

So, third chapter already!! It's a little short but I promise to have a longer chapter next time I update (which may not be for a day or two because I'm heading out of town). Oh, and one more thing, don't kill me for putting Jacob in the story, he _had to be_ for the sake of my plot. Enjoy and review!!

--

"What're you thinking Bells?" Emmett asked. He looked excited at the prospect of getting his younger sister back for all of those times that he couldn't when she had visions.

"Bella, love, how exactly do you plan to go about this? I mean, really, she has visions. She will always be one step ahead of us."

"Oh, Edward. Sweet, naïve, little Edward. You forget about my friends." Edward blinked in confusion. What in the world was she talking about? Friends who could help them get past Alice's vision-

"Wait a minute! We are _not_ having Jacob help with this at all. Ever!! He's not allowed over here anyways, how were you planning on getting him past the border without a full-on war starting?"

"Edward, I have my ways."

"What are you talkin' about?" Alice said innocently as she walked down the front steps to retrieve the last of the shopping bags.

Everyone started talking at once, "Oh, nothing." "What are _you _talking about?" "We wanted to go for a trip sometime." "I'm hungry." The last one was Emmett.

"What do you mean, you're hungry?" Alice questioned, "you just ate, like, two seconds ago!" He stared back blankly.

"Uh…I wore off some of it on the way back?" His answer seemed more of a question.

Alice stared ashamedly at her brother, "You know, sometimes you really don't make any sense. Oh! I forgot, Rosalie, come help me play Barbie with Bella!!" Alice grinned and Bella winced. Rosalie caught it but Alice, who skipped happily into the house with an armful of shopping bags, didn't.

"It's ok Bella. We'll help you get her." Bella sighed and reluctantly walked into the house, up the stairs, and to her doom. When the door shut behind her she whimpered softly and sat in the seat that Alice motioned her to.

--

Alice had to leave later that night to hunt because she had stayed home with Bella all weekend. Jasper volunteered to go with them as his emotions were hard enough to control without the guilt of whatever they were planning to do to his wife on his mind as well.

"Alright everyone, come down here for a family meeting." Edward said in a normal voice. About two seconds later there were four people sitting in front of Bella and Edward on the couches. "Bella wishes to speak to all of you about the well-deserved revenge upon Alice that she has planned."

Their gazes switched over to Bella and she blushed under the attention, "Uh, well, I…Alice needs to taste her own medicine with a makeover of her own." The still stared at her, "and, um I need your help." More stares, "What? Why do you keep staring at me like that?"

"Don't you have any plans of action?" Rosalie asked gently and Bella shook her head, "Nothing at all that you think we should do to her for all of the surprise shopping trips, make-over's, and high heeled shoes she forced on your feet?" Bella looked at her feet, clearly unsure of what to say. She seemed disappointed for a moment until her face lit up.

"I know what we're gonna do now!" The family leaned in as she excitedly told them her brilliant plan.

--

_Vrrroooommmm. Pop. Slam_

Jacob knew what that meant: "Bella's here!!" he shouted to Billy, "I'll be back in a while." He said as he ran out the door. "Bella!!" he shouted and grabbed her in a huge bear hug.

"Hey, Jake!" Bella's voice sounded strangled. Jacob let her go and she said, "thank goodness I'm not breakable to _you._" They both laughed and started walking down towards the beach.

"So, what're you doing over here? Not in a rude way or anything." Jake wondered.

"Well, I have a proposition for you." Jacob looked at her, confused. "Would you like to help me get revenge on Alice?" His eyes lit up and he nodded eagerly. "Phew, this would never work out otherwise! Ok here's what you'll need to do…"

--

Edward let out a breath when Bella's truck pulled up in his driveway. He had been worried for her, but this was what she wanted and he would let her do this her way. She hopped out the car and ran into his arms, "He said yes!!" she squealed very gleefully.

"That's great Bells, now what are we going to do?"

"Let's go and get Alice, we're going to Seattle."

--

Hey, I'm very sorry for the cliffie but I couldn't give away the story yet now could I? Also, very sorry for not even hinting at what's happening, call it suspense (or writer's block…hehe). Thanks for sticking with this story, I promise that next time I update the real story will begin. Pretty please review and tell all your friends, it really does make me wanna write.


	4. Kidnapper's Kidnapping

AAAAAHHHHHHH

AAAAAHHHHHHH!! I am so unbelievably sorry that it has taken me so very long to update. Pretty please don't hate me and come back to review and tell me I'm forgiven. Also, Jacob isn't really involved in the story that much but he had to be there so that Alice couldn't see what they were planning (with the whole werewolf thing you know).

--

"Hey you guys, why did all of my visions of everything happening to all of us just suddenly disappear?" Alice frantically asked her family. None of them looked back at her and her voice became hysterical, "Hello?! What is HAPPENING??"

Edward looked at her, very confused, and said, "I don't know Alice. And we are all vampires here aside from Bella but she's sitting right next to you so you don't have to scream at us. She frowned and made a face at him.

"Jasper? What is going on, sweetheart?" she asked, making an irresistible puppy-dog face at her husband.

_Uh-oh._ Bella thought._ Better now then never I guess._ "Jasper, now!" Bella ordered. He stared at Alice for the briefest of seconds and then hit her with a wave of calm.

"What are you doing?!" she said. She tried to get up and wavered a bit, but stood firm.

"Again Jasper!" he hit her with another wave of calm and she fell onto the couch next to him.

"I'm so sorry Alice but this is Bella's idea." Jasper said, trying to get Alice's glare off of him. It worked, she glowered at Bella instead. Then he felt guilty for getting Bella in trouble so he did the first thing that came to mind: he hit her with another calm wave. This one knocked her right out and she fell over onto his lap.

"Sweet!" Bella cried. "Jasper, you're like a vampire tranquilizer gun!! This is way better than just hitting her with one wave and then stuffing her in the trunk. Now we'll have peace and quiet on the way to Seattle."

Jasper picked up Alice and walked towards the door. Bella and Edward followed them and everyone else ran out the back to get the cars. After they were situated in their cars, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and the unconscious Alice in one, everyone else in the other, they headed out on the road.

"We'd better go fast so we can get there before she wakes up." Edward said.

"You're right." Bella slouched grumpily in her seat, not wanting to go faster than the legal speed limit. "Edward give me your phone quick." He handed her the phone and she dialed in Jasper's number. "Hello? Jasper, if Alice wakes up or starts to make noises, just hit her with another wave, ok? ... Thanks... Can I talk to Emmett? … Hey, if she winds up waking up and Jasper freaks out from her emotions, hold her down and we'll be right there. … Thank you!" she handed the phone back to Edward.

"That was a good idea, Bella, but I don't think that she's going to wake up anytime soon. When Jasper hit you once, you were out for a day and a half, and that was just one wave." Carlisle offered.

"I know, I just want to be sure that this will work out. Which reminds me, Jacob is meeting us at Seattle so that he won't violate anything, and she still won't know what's happening." Edward's hands gripped the wheel a little tighter when she said Jacob's name.

"Edward, don't worry, this will all work out." she laughed evilly. They all stared at her and she coughed, "What? I thought that it was ok…I worked on it all night." She whined, "Ok, fine, no more evil laughing." She sulked the rest of the way to Seattle.

--

As everyone hopped out of the cars Bella ran over to check on Alice. She looked so peaceful. Bella was very grateful for Jasper, as she realized that her plan never would have worked out otherwise. "Nnnnaaaahhhh." Alice moved around a bit and Bella jumped away as Emmett and Edward each ran over to grab one of her arms. She groaned again and opened her eyes. "What is going ON!!" she shrieked.

"Hehehe…" Bella was hidden behind Edward and laughed nervously.

"Bella, what have you done? And why can I still not see anything? Where are we?" Alice struggled momentarily at Edward and Emmett's grasp, but gave up quickly as she was still a bit tired from Jasper's calm.

"Oh, Alice, it's time for me to get back at you for all of those ridiculous shopping trips that you took me on! Mwahahaa!!"

"I though we said no more of the evil laughing, "Edward motioned for her to stop.

"Sorry, anyways, you couldn't see anything because I asked Jacob to come down here so you couldn't see anything, and we are in Seattle, right outside of the mall." Alice stared at her.

"Hold on, you did all of that just because I take you shopping?"

"I don't like shopping Alice." Bella said, looking fiercely at Alice.

"That's the scariest I've ever seen Bella." Emmett whispered to his family, backing away from her a bit. Everyone else seemed to agree.

--

Ok, that wasn't as great sounding on paper (or computer screen) as it sounded in my mind. Sorry, the whole Jacob thing just kinda threw me off there when I really thought about it. Oh, well! Just review and tell me how to make it up to you. Love and hugs!!


	5. What's Wrong with Alice?

OMGoodness

OMGoodness!! I am so very sorry that I have taken 3 days to update but I think that I finally figured out how I want this story to go (though it could easily change with my ADD-like mind). Anyways, I'm writing this quickly before a storm comes and hits and then I'm not allowed to use the computer because mum fears for my electrocution. I hope you enjoy it!

--

"Hey, Jake!" Bella ran up Jacob and he swung her around in a hug. Edward looked on jealously until Bella saw him and walked over to his side. He wrapped his arms around her protectively and glared at Jacob.

"Hey there, Bloodsucker!" Jacob laughed at his own joke and then straightened up quickly as he realized he was surrounded by "bloodsuckers".

"Hello Mutt!" Emmett replied advancing on him until Rosalie grabbed his arm and yanked it back.

"Breathe, babe. He's here because Bella asked him." She whispered in his ear and massaged his shoulders.

"So Jake, I just wanted to fill you in on what's going to happen. Today we're heading out to the mall and getting Alice some new attire. Not entirely sure as to what we're going to do tomorrow but a complete makeover sounds good to me." She grinned in great pleasure.

"Sweet, I'm not sure if I will be able to stay the whole time but I will as long as I can. Sam and some of the other's were gonna head out for a camping trip tomorrow."

"That's fine, I just need you here until I can figure out for sure what I want to do so that she cannot have tons of different plans for all of my plans."

Their heads all turned towards the stairs as Jasper walked down with a very worn-out looking Alice. "He must have hit her with another calm wave." Edward whispered, "Smart man." Jasper lead her over to them as she looked at Bella very apologetically and then opened the door and helped her in to sit in the middle backseat.

"Alright everyone, let's head out! We've got a makeover to accomplish." Bella cried out. They all piled into their respective cars and drove off toward the mall. Once they arrived at the mall, which was only a five-minute drive away, each of them hopped out and walked over to Bella. The last ones to get there were Alice and Jasper.

"Okay, everyone, just follow me and enjoy the day." They all walked off following Bella into the huge mall. This would definitely be a day to enjoy! "First stores first, we're going to the Hanes store! Boys, head over to the video games and let us alone for a minute." The four boys headed out reluctantly to the game store as the three girls went into the underwear store. Bella picked up several different pairs of very large underwear and a few very grandma-like bras for her friend to try on. Once Alice had them and had headed into the changing rooms Bella turned to Rosalie and asked, "Why's Alice so quiet? Maybe we shouldn't do this, it's not like her to be so anti-social and depressed! She is normally talking my ear off and now I can't even get a word out of her."

"Oh, Bella! Don't you see what she's doing? This is a ploy!! She's doing this to make you feel bad so that you won't make her buy anything and you'll let her buy you stuff. That and the fact that she's been hit with Jasper's calming powers so many times in the past few days that I don't think she could do anything if she tried. Which is a very good thing if you ask me, or else she would be long gone by now."

"Well, if you are sure…"

"Bella, pull it together!! Don't you be all wussy on me now, she does deserve this and we all know it. And anyways, if you feel that bad, take her into Victoria's Secret once and see how lackluster she is in there."

"Sounds good to me." She just finished saying those words as Alice walked out into the hallway between the dressing rooms. The two girls gasped at the sight of her and then burst out laughing. She was in a flowery beige granny bra and a pair of purple polka-dotted panties about three times too big for her. She also wore a frown that could shame any temper-prone child.

"Oh, Alice, you really look… quite… lovely!" Rosalie gasped out before she collapsed on the floor from laughing so hard. Bella was turning red from her laughter and couldn't breathe. Edward suddenly appeared and Alice quickly disappeared.

"Bella, love. Breathe!" She sucked in a breath of air and sat there giggling to herself until she and Rosalie were able to get up.

"Alice, change and bring those out here. You are so getting them!" Bella cried in laughter and the other three boys walked up behind them smiling at Bella's choice in an underwear store for Alice. When she walked out of the dressing room she sheepishly handed Bella the items and walked over to Jasper, putting her head on his shoulder. "Oh, before I forget, Jasper, no more of that calming emotion for little Miss Debbie Downer here. She's really bringing down the fun of this whole entire trip without her energy."

He nodded his head and then, after paying for the hideous unmentionables, they moved along to the next store: Victoria's Secret. Bella had no idea why she was willingly putting herself into this store but she knew that she had to find out if what Rosalie said was true, was Alice really pretending to be all sad and hurt? They'd soon find out.

--

"Oooh, Bella! I knew that I still loved you! Now, what could you try on?" Alice's energy was back and possibly had doubled since her "depression" had hit. She began grabbing random panties and everything in sight that was as skimpy and disgustingly small as anyone could ever imagine. "Go try these on first!" Alice shoved the lingerie into Bella's arms and quickly placed her into a dressing room while Rosalie was getting Bella's lunch. "Put them on now Bella, I don't hear any changing occurring!!" Alice's voice changed from excitement to anger in a jiffy.

Bella scrambled into one of the 'outfits' that Alice grabbed and walked out only to find everyone out there waiting for her. Carlisle and Esme had apparently gotten back from their own trip to a group of friends because they were there as well. When she looked up she saw seven pairs of eyes staring at her which quickly became only three when everyone but Edward, Alice, and Rosalie looked away.

"See, Edward, what'd I tell you? She looks amazing in that! And now she can buy it because we know that you like it and she wouldn't let me get her any undergarments when we were in Port Angeles!" this was directed at Bella and accompanied by a glare. Bella turned around speechless, went into the dressing room, and changed back into her clothes.

When she came back out again, it was only Rose and Alice left. Alice grabbed everything from Bella and skipped up to the register. Rosalie walked over to Bella and rolled her eyes, "What did I tell you? She was just pretending to be bummed so that you would feel bad and give in to her evil little puppy-dog pout." She looked disgusted at the words she spoke.

Bella, for the first time since walking into the store, spoke, "Oh, I know. She will definitely pay." Alice skipped over holding three huge bags and Bella forced a smile on her face. "Come on Alice, let's go and have some fun shopping now."

--

Don't you just wanna smack Alice sometimes? I mean really, I'm happy a lot too but that girl is like everlasting bubbliness!! Anyways, I thought that it was better considering that I wrote it within 17 minutes. I better go because I have about 10 minutes before a ginormous thunderstorm hits and still have my other story to update. Pretty please review! Somehow there's _way _more hits than reviews and I know that you can review without having an account even so get to it people. Geez, that sounded kinda harsh, sorry, but I'm grumpy from lack of sleep. Blech!


	6. Foofy Dresses

I am so very sorry that it has been taking me a very long time to update

I am so very sorry that it has been taking me a very long time to update!! I've been so busy and apologize in advance for the next few weeks because I'll be gone again at my cousin's wedding and this week is our county fair, and next week I'm teaching Bible school for 4th grade. Sheesh!! I didn't even realize how busy I am until I wrote it all down…oh, and I'm also going to have to start driver's ed…blech! I delayed it as long as possible but now mum says it's not an option (I have an irrational fear of crashing in cars). So, anyways, here's the chapter for today and I promise to have a longer, better written one tomorrow. Enjoy!

--

"Okay, Bella. Where are we going now? We could go and get some formalwear or some everyday dresses if you'd like…I know the _perfect_ store!" Alice squealed while they walked out of Victoria's Secret.

"That sounds good to me too. But I know the most incredible store that I got my 8th grade graduation dress from. It'll be _perfect_!!" Bella squealed right back at her and while she was bouncing up and down from excitement Bella turned her head to look up at Edward and roll her eyes.

"So what store is this? I'm gonna die from excitement!"

"Oh, you'll see." Bella didn't understand why Alice didn't just look at where they were going, but figured she must have forgotten that Jacob had left for the pack hunting group. Oh, well, that was her fault.

Once the group arrived at Bella's destination, there was a collective gasp followed by uncontrollable laughter. She had brought Alice to the Dress Barn. To get a dress. For a formal night out. With Jasper. Alice could feel herself getting more and more pale by the moment and then felt herself getting very upset and confused. But Bella had taken her to Victoria's Secret, why would she take her there and then be cruel and take her to a hideous old-lady store?

Edward shook his head at her and then she remembered he could hear everything that she was thinking, so she'd better not think about killing Bella. He glared at her and she again remembered that he was still listening to her. Ooops. Well, maybe Bella would take her to a good store after this and she could buy something for Bella just like the lingerie stores. Muuahahaaha!

"Alice, could you stop making scary evil laughing noises and hurry up, I'm getting hungry!" Alice looked up and realized that she must have laughed out loud. Again, oops! She moved into the store with Bella and watched her pick out several huge, fluffy, lacey, and very ugly-patterned dresses. Only a few seconds later she felt Rosalie shoving her into a dressing room and Bella placing at least 12 of the offensive dresses on the rack. She almost felt her skin melting off in rebellion of the dresses. How on Earth could she have ever imagined wearing a dress without a designer name and worth less than the average teddy bear?

"Alice, you look amazing in that one! It's definitely a keeper," Bella laughed as Alice stepped out in a pink, purple, green, red, and yellow-flowered dress with poofy sleeves, lace trim, and a matching feathered hat. All of the family burst out laughing and Alice went back in to change into her own clothes. When she stepped out Bella narrowed her eyes, "What are you doing with your clothes on already? You haven't even tried on two of the dresses." Alice glared at Bella and Rosalie stepped up to her side.

"Don't listen to her Bella, she knows that this is what she deserves. Don't you let her guilt you or scare you out of this." Rosalie, walked toward Alice to push her back into the dressing room when Bella stopped her.

"Oh, it's ok. I'm letting this one go because I'm hungry, but we'll definitely be coming back or we can always head to the Clothes Barn." Alice looked guilty as Bella smirked, "Let's go eat!"

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So, again, I'm very sorry that this is extra short and if you read my other story, that won't be updated until at least tomorrow as it takes longer for me to write romance. Anyways, mum's yelling at me now for being on the computer so long and I'd better hurry up so I'm not beaten (Kidding, my mum and dad are very loving! Don't go all "you should call Social Services and report them" on me, because I know some people like that). Thanks for reading and review pretty please!


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